"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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