is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
