hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
