so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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