i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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