Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
