im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The beer is more important than you right now.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
