question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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