The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
