So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
