this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
