Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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