You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
