Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
