so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
