i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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