mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My liver just had a heart attack.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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