My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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