I like to think it a success when the cops are called
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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