And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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