I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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