i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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