I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
