you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
