Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
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