ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
