tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
