I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
