fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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