Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
It was confusing and full of hummus
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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