Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
