went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
