why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
