If i come over, it means nothing
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
