im holly from the hills drunk
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
