doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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