this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You don't make any sense
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