dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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