Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
