So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Fuck me I smell like cheese
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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