pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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