apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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