Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
