It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Randomize
