So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
