His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
