just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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