I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
