i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
