Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
