besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
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Do I have a choice?
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RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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